From Beautiful to Broken
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Buildings hold impact, they retain memories and preserve emotions, they keep them trapped within the walls. For one woman it was her old apartment building, it was brick built with five stories of floor to ceiling windows framed by carefully carved stone. But even buildings become weak and frail, they crumble and collapse until they are reduced to ruins. How can something so beautiful become something so broken?, she thought as she stood staring at the fractured pieces of her past. A broad shadow appeared next to the woman, he looked at her with a thousand unsaid words then followed her line of vision, they stood both glaring at the wreckage.
 
Silently.
 
Lovingly.
 
Painfully.
 
“Hey I'm trying to cook here, if you wanna dance do it somewhere else.” he jokingly complained “I'm helping” she pleaded through a giggle, “but you have to admit it's good dancing”. He shook his head through a chuckle.
 
Motioning her over, he sprinkled the board with flour and flipped the proofed dough out of the bowl. “Here, I'll teach you how to knead” she stood in between his arms and sunk comfortably into him, he took her hands and pressed into the dough with her palm. He continued to control her hands until something white and dusty flew up into his face, it wasn't until he heard a light giggle that he realised what it was. So he picked a pinch of flour from the bag and threw it back at her.
 
She wiped her face of the wet streaks of the memory.
 
“I didn't think you would ever come back” a deep, rich voice remarked.
 
In a raspy whisper she replied “neither did I” not tearing her eyes away from the severed structure. Twisting away from the remains and towards her he tugged on her coat sleeve like a lost puppy, for the first time in five years she looked up at him in his dark eyes: she felt as though she could stare right into his soul but then again she always thought that and it was always pretend.
 
“Where have you been?” she asked bitterly, the lights in the hallway outside flooded the poorly lit apartment as the man walked through the door.
 
He placed his keys in the bowl, kicked his shoes off and without saying a word walked to the kitchen and poured himself a drink. Whiskey. “So what, are you just going to ignore me?” she questioned fiercely as she walked over to him, slowly he turned to face her, he looked down at her, for a moment she could have sworn he looked at her with empty, ice cold eyes but then his features softened, his scowl disappeared and his
eyebrows un-furrowed.
 
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I had to work late. You're right I should have called” he apologised in a gentle, loving tone, she simply stared up at him confused at his sudden change in demeanour. “Goodnight then love” he kissed her softly on the forehead before leaving her in the low lit kitchen once again.
 
Carefully he took a step closer to her, still holding on to her sleeve “don't you remember how good it was, how happy we were? '' he asked in a deceiving tone whilst tugging on her coat. He had a soft puppy-like expression; it was uncommon to him, as if it were a mask covering his deception.
 
“I remember. I also remember how bad it was at the end, how bad you were” she practically whispered, yanking her arm back from him.
 
“I've changed now, really.” The lie was radiating off of him but still she didn't detect it.
 
She was a romantic, she believed in kissing in the rain, running through the airport, die for you type of love, the type of love you see in books and movies. That was her fatal flaw. She looked past all the flaws in him to find that the love that she had always dreamt about, but that's all it was - a dream, love could never be like that for her as long as she loved him.
 
“Hey, I’m going out soon” she shouted from the bedroom.
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“Where? With who?” he shouted back irritably. The sound of heels grew louder as she walked into the living room still putting in her gold hoop
earrings that perfectly matched her black sequined dress. “I told you, I'm going out with my friends to a bar” she replied.
 
“I didn't say that you could do that” he answered whilst scowling at his computer screen, she walked over to the sofa and slowly sunk into it next to him.
 
“I-”
 
“No.” he cut her off “you're staying home tonight, we can do something though if you'd like”. He finally looked up from his screen “you know I don't like you going out with friends” he tilted her head up and gripped her, “look at me when I’m talking to you” he commanded in a rough deep voice.
 
“I'll go and get changed” she said in an unsteady tone. “Good”.
 
As she walked back to her room she wiped the tears from her face as he wiped the mask from his and was left with a devious grin.
With his index finger he lifted up her chin until her lips were mere inches from his, “do you forgive me?” he asked in a soft, warm voice. As if the world could feel him acting warm, it countered with snow: the snowflakes fell and melted on their faces, leaving them cold and wet. The man became impatient and irritated at how fascinated she was by the snow “so?” he asked abruptly, bringing her back from her fantasy.
 
It was then that she could smell the whiskey on his breath.
 
“I was out with my friends, what's so wrong with that?” she asked demandingly as she walked into the apartment, behind her her boyfriend stayed silent until the sound of the slamming door shattered it.
 
Angrily she threw her bag on the sofa and yanked her heels off, leaving them on the floor in front of her, without saying a word she walked over to the kitchen island across from the man she thought she knew and exclaimed “you embarrassed me in front of my friends. What the hell is wrong with you!”. He looked up from the island - and BANG.
 
He had slammed his hand on the worktops, it sent a jolt through the woman's body. She looked at him with eyes wide and white “You know I don't like it when you go out without me. Who knows what could happen” he exclaimed in a calm icy tone. Too calm. Frozen in place, she didn't move an inch, she just stood.
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Shocked. Scared. Silent.
 
Coolly he walked towards her, she followed him with her eyes until he was inches away, she could smell the strong scent of his musky cologne and the whiskey on his breath. He stared at her like he felt nothing, and when she looked back into his eyes all she saw was emptiness, lies and deception. That night was the night she learnt who he truly was and what he was capable of.
 
Only then did she realise how close he was, when she could smell his cologne and see the hollowness in his eyes. Aggressively, she shoved him away and tumbled backwards, catching herself a few moments later. “I won't fall for it. You. Not again” she stated, her voice was shaking and her hands trembling “what you did was unforgivable” she glanced up at him and for the first time in so long she felt nothing for him, not love, not hate, but indifference. She was finally free of his control. “Go” she commanded, he stared at her confused “Go now”. He finally did what she demanded and walked away.
 
As his footsteps grew quieter, so did the sound of her heartbeat, she took a few deep breaths before turning back to the building. She couldn't help but think about the similarities between buildings and relationships, about how water creeps into the cracks and crevices of bricks and buildings pushing them apart until they are a chaotic mess of ruins. From beautiful to broken. Just as words sneak into the gaps and rifts of relationships, driving them apart until their bridges are broken and all that's left are the memories.
 
From beautiful to broken.