Jahvel Douglas - Aged 15
The world building in this piece grabbed us instantly. It portrayed a dystopian world that told us a lot while also filling us with questions. The story was well-paced throughout and the characters’ emotions were shown clearly, making the reader sympathise and care for them quickly! We could totally see this as a new dystopian TV drama. It was giving us Hunger Games and Logan's Run vibes! A really clear picture of Aldus was created through description of his actions and the desperation of Cyprian to escape. The use of the old book gave context to the story, adding important information for the reader. The vivid imagery gives the action a real visceral quality, while the frenzied desperation of the world’s inhabitants is captured by the swift descriptions and brisk structure. What a fantastic, scary, dystopian tale.
Beyond the Wall
Rotting wooden posts held up the villagers’ houses, which were covered in a thick clay, painted white. The farm animals were caged like everyone else in our village, under a towering stone wall that were installed 239 years ago to 'keep us safe'. The mayor's house was large and grand, painted in shiny gold paint and made from mahogany pillars and shimmering glass; he was above everyone else, like we were his crops.
It was dawn and I needed to get ready for Monastic School. I looked at my reflection in my brother's mirror: my head was unable to fit in the image and my robes hung heavy on my shoulders, as if I was bearing a secret that could lift the town from the Lord’s tyrannical rule. If only we had the power that he had. The rope hanging from my food-deprived waist was fraying at its ends. I strolled into class, sick of the same lesson over and over again. When I dozed off, I regularly dreamed of life outside without a horrible leader. I was sick of doing his gruelling work every day after school. I knew I had to get away from this lifestyle.
Eventually, I returned to my tiny house, which struggled to hold me let alone my brother as well. l pulled out the dusty drawer from under my bed and took out the book that my father had given me. I was half way through reading the torn book when I saw that there was an article about where the villagers went generations prior to me. Jumping to my feet, I called for my brother to come inside. ''Alaric ... the world is much larger than we thought '' I stated seriously.
'' What are you going on about now Cyprian '' he questioned.
I showed him the passage in the book. 'The villagers escaped during the black death leaving a fifth of the village left.’ This meant that the walls were not to protect us from the animals but to keep us docile so we would stay and do Lord Aldus's work. ''There are others outside Alaric” I whispered in case the supreme ruler was listening.
'' But how we have never heard them or ...'' BONG BONG BONG, Cyprian blurted out before he was interrupted by the bells. It was time for the daily praise.
We ran to the fire pit in the centre of our village, the other people were waiting for the Lord. He strolled through the crowd and ordered his guards to put us in a line. He yelled ''Say the words!’'
We all said ''Supreme Leader Aldus, Supreme Leader Aldus, Supreme Leader Aldus.'' Before we could finish our fourth line we were shushed, and a small girl was dragged forward for not talking. She was shouted at to repeat the words, yet she still stayed quiet. The guard grabbed her by her slim arm and threw her to the floor, kicking her twice before dragging her back to the Lord's House, blood spurting from her mouth.
As we were listening to the lord’s speech, we heard a high pitched scream from the house and a few seconds later the guard came out, dark blood dripping from his clothes and hand. The small girl soon followed after him and shuffled into her spot in the line staining the floor with her blood.
After his speech we were allowed to leave. Crowds rushed to the girl while my brother and I walked to our cottage on the edge of the border. I told him we needed to escape; we couldn't go along with this for any longer. He said we couldn't as we had no way of leaving without attracting Aldus's attention. When we were in the room, I told him that the book stated there was a small tunnel in the wall where the old villagers escaped. ''I am going to go find it and look beyond the wall before getting you so we can escape together.”
I ran out the back of the fields over to the ivy-coated wall and peeked through, looking for light on the other side. After an hour, I located the hole. I crouched down and slowly crawled through, avoiding any bugs and thorns from the roses in front of the ivy. I was in a metre, surrounded by the heart-shaped leaves, when I rolled out, falling onto a hard grey path. I stood up and looked up.
Massive birds were in the sky soaring miles above my head.
BEEP BEEP.
A sort of metal box was face to face with me. There was someone in the box who shouted at me and raised a finger at me. I suspected it was their way of greeting people, so I did it back and smiled showing off my amber teeth. He went very fast down the path in his box.
I wanted to go back to Alaric, but it looked so cool that I ventured into a big village. When I walked past a school they laughed and pointed at me. I examined their clothes, and they were dressed in war outfits with big shoulders and shoes not boots. One of them called his friends over and chased me. I turned around and rolled under one of those boxes. I watched their feet fly past me when the box rolled from over me and continued down the road. More people were pointing at me and I decided to run back to my tunnel and meet my brother.
I arrived back at the house and told him everything about it. '' I don't know how I feel about this. What if they hurt us like guard did to Niamh?'' said Alaric, scared. I persuaded him to not be scared and trust me.
The following sunrise I shook him in his bed until he woke up, we packed our stuff in the satchel and we went to leave when we heard the bells. We quickly went to the centre. Aldus said someone had gone outside the walls into the 'forest' outside the village. My heart jumped out my chest and my hair stood on end. Surprisingly, he didn't punish anyone or so I thought. When we got back to our house, the field was on fire and the guards were in front of the entrance to the new world. We needed to figure out a plan. My brother said that he was going to get some air. Suddenly, there was a stampede of farm animals outside the house and Alaric ran in hurrying me along to run when the guards were distracted. The cows ran into us knocking us to the floor into their poo. We saw the guards walking back. They tried to get to us but were hit by the cow wall and we pulled the vines down and rushed into the burrow.
When we got out Alaric stood still, bewildered as if it was the first time he had opened his eyes. We ran for the big hill outside the city. We kept going for hours. We approached an oak tree and set up camp under the wide branches underneath. Pork spun on the fire for an hour until we decided to eat dinner and go to sleep before finding another civilisation further from the village. We took our wolf skins out and laid them over us to stay warm. We drifted off to the soft buzz of bugs.
I stretched out my legs and reached for my water and took a well needed sip before eating an apple. As I went to throw out the core, I heard a deafening thundering of hooves coming from the bottom of the hill. I clambered out our tent and looked down to see the Supreme Leader and his 7 guards charging towards us on horses. I ran inside and woke up my brother. He rushed out and we ran past the tree to a cave. We stumbled into one of the entrances and shuffled into a crevice.
''Alaric, Cyprian, we know you're close. We heard the fading sound of hooves, and I poked my head outside.
I locked eyes with the Lord and the corners of his lips slowly moved towards his eyes.