Esme French - Aged 9
This is such a heartwarming tale. We dare any reader to find a sweeter pair of BFFs than Sofia & Crystal, but that wouldn’t be fair. We loved the world the writer created! We think they have a beautiful imagination. It was also very humorous when you told us what BFF stood for; we loved this. We felt all Sofia’s emotions as she realised why her parents were so protective.
Overall, this is a brilliant twist on a classic princess story. The travelling part was particularly well written, and we could clearly picture them and understand their motivations thanks to the excellent description. We loved imagining the magical fish who swam on the surface. This is definitely magical and everyone enjoys a happy ending where the main character becomes wiser. Well done on your gorgeous story and beautiful writing.
The Princess and her Horse
Once in a land far far away there lived a 9 year old girl called Sofia. Sofia was no ordinary girl. She was a fairy Princess however she wasn't ever allowed out of the palace grounds .Sofia hated how limited and controlled she was by her parents, the King and Queen, all the time. When she get annoyed about something she goes to her BFF (Best Friend Forever for those of you that don't know)who was a Shetland pony called Crystal. Crystal is a small brown pony with a long black silky mane.
It was Sofia's 10th birthday and her parents were throwing her a huge lavish party to celebrate. Sofia didn't want a big party with the whole kingdom. She wanted a small chilled out party with her family and friends. Her parents also said that Crystal wasn't allowed because some people might be allergic. Sofia didn't want to go to any party if her best friend couldn't come. She decided to run away, to a land beyond the boundaries of her parents Kingdom and reign, where she would be treated properly and where she could go anywhere she wanted. She decided to do it the day before her birthday. She secretly started packing. The day before her birthday finally came. She had butterflies in her stomach and she felt like she was going to be sick. Her parents had finally fallen asleep so she grabbed her suitcase, ran to Crystals stable and mounted. "This is it," she said "we'll never see this place again and we can do whatever we want!"
She travelled for hours through forests and passed a huge pond with lily pads with giant pink and purple lilies where magical golden fish swam right on the surface. She realised she needed a place to stay so she carried on, looking for a place to spend the night . Eventually she found a old hut with vines covering it and smothered with beautiful gold and blue flowers. She opened the door and what she saw was not what she was expecting. There were shelves covered in bottles containing different coloured liquids and an antique desk with paper spread out all over it. She went over and saw that the papers were recipes with things crossed out here and there. On some, things had been scribbled next to them like five pinches of horn of unicorn .Glancing around she saw what she had been looking for, the bed. It was a simple bed with a metal bed frame, a mattress, pillows and a duvet. She tied Crystal to a tree and then snuggled into the nice warm bed and fell asleep instantly. In the middle of the night, the owner came home. He was a mean goblin who had heard that the princess was missing and had heard of the reward offered for her return. He immediately knew who she was and decided to not let her out of his sight. When Sofia woke up, she apologised for coming in without warning him. He accepted this apology and said that he would make some breakfast. His plan was to make her like him so that she would stay with him and if she asked to go, he'd come up with a cunning excuse for her to stay until he could take her to the palace and claim his return.
One day the goblin said that she could go out to look after her pony but instead she untied Crystal and told her to go to the palace get the guards and show them were she was. Crystal ran through the forest past the pond and found the guards. The guards were very smart and knew that Crystal would never go anywhere without Sofia so when she started trot back towards the old hut, the guards followed. Meanwhile Sofia was waiting inside the hut desperate for Crystal to return with the guards as she just wanted to go home and realised that her parents were just looking after her in the best way they knew. She was starting to get worried and a bit impatient but then she saw Crystals long mane! She did not dare make any sudden movement or the goblin would get suspicious. Sofia pretended to be asleep then waited for the goblin to start snoring and tiptoed out of bed and opened the door as quietly as she could. When she got outside, she ran to the guards and Crystal and hugged them. "I'm so happy to see you!" she cried. "Alright alright," said one of the guards, "now let's get you home. "So away they went. When they got back, it was almost dawn so Sofia crept into her parents room and woke them up with a huge "Morning "said with a gigantic grin on her face. Her parents were so happy to see her! "We'll throw a big party to celebrate your coming home." said the Queen and do you know what? That's just what they did.
The End